Thank you so much to this amazing family for sharing their birth story with our blog readers! We were so honored to get to be a part of this story, to help navigate all of the normal parts of birth, and also the unexpected parts. It has been so lovely to continue watch this family transition into a family of four during their postpartum journey.

Photos captured by Elizabeth Dahl with Gemini Photography.

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Day +12

I had accepted that I would be pregnant forever. It was two days longer than I went with my daughter and I had felt multiple times that “today is the day” only to have nothing happen. John was working from home and watching Kira while I headed off to my second appointment of the week with my midwife. I had decided to get a stretch and sweep that day and figured it would be easier to leave Kira with John.  I felt pretty normal that morning but as I drove to the appointment I suddenly felt a wave of emotion and cried most of the way there. I was so disappointed that I was at the point of intervention and couldn’t just wait on the baby’s timing. My midwife was not pressuring me at all to do anything, but I was not comfortable with the thought of going beyond 42 weeks as risks start to increase so John and I had decided we would start natural induction on Saturday (42 weeks) and do a medical induction Monday if nothing was working. The stretch and sweep was to be done Thursday morning to help prep my body for the natural induction methods.

When I got to Kate’s, I warned her right away that I was feeling very emotional that day and she said “that’s great! Don’t fight it, all those emotions are helping to get things started.” She grabbed a box of tissues and asked what I was feeling and I explained my disappointment that I couldn’t wait any longer and had to start interventions. After we talked through it a while she clarified we didn’t have to do anything that day if I wasn’t ready but I explained I wasn’t comfortable waiting much past 42 weeks so I wanted to go ahead with it. We retested for GBS since it had been 4 weeks since the last test and then did the stretch and sweep. She asked if I wanted to know numbers (how far dilated) and I decided not to because I didn’t want to be disappointed if it was less than I hoped. She told me later I was 3, stretchy to 5. She did tell me my cervix was very soft, which is a good sign of progress. She sent me home to watch a sad movie and “Feel all the feels.”

We talked through normal signs and symptoms after, including some spotting and cramping, and she warned me I might be uncomfortable the rest of the day without triggering labor. I went home and it was an hour or two before I got particularly uncomfortable. I had asked John the day before if he could work from home because I knew it might be difficult to tell if I was in labor and I wouldn’t know when to call him to come home. His work had been very understanding and flexible the last few weeks and didn’t have a problem with him working from home that day. At one point I had so much cramping and back pain I turned on a movie for Kira and curled up on the couch. After a few hours the worst seemed to be past so I resigned myself to the fact that it didn’t work to kick start labor.  I went for a walk around the neighborhood for as long as I could handle between the discomfort and the cold (high of 27 that day).

I continued to have some lower back pain off and on after John got off work but it was very manageable. He was working in the kitchen, making chocolate cake for induction and getting dinner ready. He gave me a spoonful of his homemade hot sauce along with some chocolate cake once it was ready. Every now and then I would feel the discomfort in my lower back and lean over on a chair or the counter until it passed. John started to talk about me letting Kate know but nothing seemed to be regular or increasing and I was always able to talk through them so I still felt it was related to the stretch and sweep and not labor. We had pancakes for dinner and then watched some YouTube.

As we watched some shows, probably Bon Appetit and Good Mythical Morning, the contractions started to become more regular at 6 minutes apart. When John mentioned again that he’d really like me to let Kate know I finally paged her at 7:30pm. When she called back I told her “I’m not convinced I’m in labor but John is insisting I call you so I’m honoring him.” She laughed and said “I appreciate that. What’s going on?” We talked through what I was feeling and I was sure to clarify I could talk through them, it was manageable, and nothing seemed to be getting stronger, longer, or closer together. She offered to come over and said she could always sleep on the couch but I said we were fine right now. I was worried about a false alarm since I was not feeling uncomfortable enough to be convinced I was in labor. This was new territory for me because my water broke first with Kira and contractions were intense within 30 minutes.  Kate told me “Based on what I felt this morning I don’t think things will slow down at this point. Keep me posted if things get stronger or closer together or you want me to come over.”

I sent messages to my mom and birth photographer, Elizabeth, to give them a warning but I had clarified with them that it wasn’t currently very strong. Elizabeth had recommended I try to get some sleep and Kate also recommended I rest and sleep if possible. We cleaned up after dinner and started working on getting Kira to bed. We put her down and John told her “Maybe you can meet baby brother when you wake up!” This wasn’t the first night I had said goodnight to Kira with that thought in my head so I tried to ignore what John said and continue to tell myself it might all just be from the stretch and sweep and not to get excited.

We got ready for bed and John inflated the tub and spread out the plastic in our room. He put the shower curtains down and put the extra sheets on top and garbage bags on the pillows under the sheets. I moved the rugs out of the bathroom into the kitchen. We put an extra towel on my side of the bed in case my water broke, something we’d been doing for a few weeks. I laid down at 9:30 and was able to rest a bit, but never fell asleep. The contractions started to get stronger and I’d have to roll over or get on my hands and knees while John provided some counter pressure. After an hour or so I remembered the TENS unit Alaina had given me and had John grab that and put it on. It seemed to help a bit especially combined with the counter pressure. It was also helpful in communicating when contractions were starting and stopping as I would switch from “pulse” to “boost” and didn’t have to say anything.

By 11pm the contractions were strong enough that I had to get out of bed and I started to think about when to fill the tub. I wasn’t quite ready to get in but I knew it would take some time to fill. I called Kate at 11:03pm and told her “I think we’re ready for you to come.” I told her the contractions were getting stronger and starting to last a bit longer. They were still about 5 minutes apart when I called her, but as soon as I was up they started to be more like 3 minutes apart. John called my mom to come- we had decided she would come even if it was looking like it would be overnight in case Kira woke up or we had to go to the hospital. I also called Elizabeth as she was about 45 minutes away. She said to call her back after Kate was there and when it seemed like I was in transition or at least 5 cm.

John went to unlock the front door and make sure lights were on for everyone coming. I found I was most comfortable sitting on the floor in our room between contractions and then kneeling and leaning over my exercise ball with counter pressure during contractions. That’s where I was when Kate arrived (“This is what you wanted, right!?”) and she asked some questions about how things were progressing and checked on baby. When I said I hadn’t felt any urge to push yet she said she’d wait a little bit to call Kelsi, the second midwife, but started to fill the tub. Mom got there a bit later and peeked in. I told her she was welcome to stay or try to sleep on the couch but she was too excited to sleep. She stayed through a handful of contractions and then went to the living room and updated the family. I got a text soon after from Rachel (“Freaking finally!! C’mon little man <3”) and then turned my phone to silent. John called Elizabeth back at 12:25am after talking with Kate. Kate said “I think it’s a good time to come. We never know how fast things will progress and I wouldn’t want her to miss it.”

It seemed like a long time before Elizabeth arrived but not much had progressed.  Kate had been frequently encouraging me to snack, drink, and get up to empty my bladder. I had debated if I should wait to get in the tub until Elizabeth arrived but decided I’d waited long enough and was ready to get in. It felt really nice and I was able to lean over the sides of the tub very similar to what I was doing with the exercise ball. Elizabeth came with a “Praise the Lord!” that I was in labor and took a few pictures. I felt the contractions getting stronger, but didn’t notice if they were getting closer together or lasting longer. It seemed like three long, slow breaths was pretty typical.

John tried to make me laugh a few times with mostly lame dad jokes. They didn’t really make me laugh but I appreciated the attempt. At one point I asked “Where’s my water?” and he answered with “It hasn’t broken yet.” I didn’t think that one was very funny. I listened to a Spotify Hymn playlist probably at least half the time and found that helpful. There were a few songs I didn’t like the style of that John and I made fun of, which also helped. I also used Lavender essential oil on the charcoal bracelet mom bought me. 

After what seemed like a few hours I felt like I was stalled. I still hadn’t felt any urge to push or anything that felt like baby was moving down. I felt both of those pretty quickly with Kira so I was starting to get concerned about a long labor. I told Kate I felt like I wasn’t making any progress and she suggested some different positions I could do in the tub or getting out and moving around. I tried the lunging and kneeling in the tub but didn’t feel like that was working so I got out and moved to the bathroom. Kate said a lot of people have their water break on the toilet so we tried that for a while. She said “I think it’s okay if you push at this point” so I knew I was pretty far along but just stuck with my water not breaking. I tried to push through several contractions but it was difficult to feel anything and I still didn’t have the urge to push. When I stood up from the toilet I had some bloody show and Kate encouraged me we were making good progress. I wasn’t encouraged. I remember repeating “come on, baby!”

The different positions we were trying were so much more uncomfortable and I had to move every time a contraction started. Kate tried to encourage me that it was going to be more intense and we needed that for my water to break but I couldn’t tolerate it. During this time in the bathroom we were right across the hall from Kira’s room and I heard her wake up and cry for a few minutes but then she fell back asleep.  My mind began to race thinking if I was stalled at this point for too long I’d tire myself out and not be able to push. I was concerned about what interventions would be needed if I waited too long so I called Kate back into the bathroom and asked if she would just break my water. She simply said “yes.”

As we moved to the bedroom she told Kelsi “Can you chart that she requested we break her water?” We set up the bed with extra chucks pads and she told me she’d need to do it during a contraction. I laid down and Kate got everything ready. I didn’t see what she was using but it wasn’t difficult. She checked me first (later telling me 9.5) and then asked again if I wanted her to break my water (quick yes which made Elizabeth laugh). I didn’t feel anything except a little trickle and then a sense of relief as the rest gushed.

The urge to push was almost instant and I was already mid-contraction so I started pushing. I felt movement immediately even though I wasn’t in the best position flat on my back in bed. I felt like I had made a lot of progress when the contraction ended and was eager to get back in the water. “Can I get back in the tub?” I asked. Kate said “If you want!” and I climbed back in. It seemed like another contraction came immediately and I pushed as hard as I could with it. Midway through the contraction I felt a lot of pressure and asked “Is that him!?” surprised I was feeling that already. Kate said something about “let’s look” and someone grabbed a flashlight. I pushed again before the contraction ended and felt his head out. Someone said “the head is out!” and Kate said “if you’re still having a contraction you can push again otherwise wait for the next one.” The contraction was over at that point but it seemed like the next one started just a few seconds later. I started to stand a little as I was pushing but Kate reminded me to stay in the water. I squatted back down and pushed and heard Kate say “Reach down and grab your baby!” I scooped him up and kneeled down to rest my legs.

He seemed to cry immediately and he was covered in vernix. I looked down at him and said “Hi baby!” and heard Kate say “look at all that vernix!”  I did not feel the huge sense of relief that I did with Kira, but was still uncomfortable. I figured I must have torn quite a bit. Someone gave me a towel to wrap him in to keep him warm and we cuddled in the tub for several minutes while waiting for the umbilical cord to stop pulsing. I asked John “are you going to say his name?” and he said “I was waiting for you to say it.” So I told everyone “This is Tallis Pax.” He coughed a little and had a little bit of mucous that Kate used the nasal aspirator to clear.

After a while, seemed like close to 10 minutes, the placenta finally gave up. Kate clamped the cord and I had a moment of “Oh no! John wanted to cut the cord!” before I realized it was just a clamp. John cut the cord and then I handed Tallis off to him to deliver the placenta. I remembered it just slid out easily with Kira but it took a little work this time, mostly because I was reclining back against the tub. After a few minutes they suggested I stand up and almost as soon as I did I felt a little urge to push and it came right out.

I toweled off a little and headed to the bed. Tallis was handed back to me and he nursed a bit. I already had some colostrum and when he had his newborn exam he spit up some to prove it. At some point mom and Kira came in to meet Tallis. Kira had woken up as I was pushing and mom went in there and rocked her back to sleep before he was born. Mom said she heard Tallis’ first cry as she was rocking Kira and it made her cry. Elizabeth took some family pictures as Kira met Tallis. Mom put her up on the bed and we asked her if she wanted to give baby brother a kiss and she leaned over and kissed my belly. We explained baby brother wasn’t in there anymore and the baby she was looking at was baby brother! She was pretty adorably confused.

Kate eventually checked me and confirmed I had torn in 3 places. Tallis had a fairly big head and came through the birth canal so quickly and both likely contributed to the tearing. I had torn fairly significantly, although not to the muscle thankfully. I’m not sure how many stitches I got but it was quite a few. I had lidocaine topically and three shots as well. Most of the stitches were fine but the last several I felt quite a bit. Kate had warned me that particular area tended to be very sensitive and lidocaine didn’t usually work well. That was the most painful part afterwards. She did massage my uterus a few times but it was never too bad. I started to have after pains and took ibuprofen and an herbal drink to help. I also had the shakes pretty bad. At one point they took my vitals and I noticed my diastolic was in the 40s. I remember saying “Woah” and Kate assured me it was okay and my pulse was fine so no concerns of shock.

Elizabeth stayed through most of the newborn exam to get pictures of weight, length, etc. and then headed home. Gestational age was declared to be 40 weeks due to abundance of vernix, lesser developed footprints and finger prints, nipple buds, and short toenails and fingernails. All of those things were signs he was not overdue. Kate said “I think you just cook babies longer or you ovulated later than you thought.” 

After a few hours they were getting ready to do the laundry, make us some food, and let us rest. All that was left was to get O2 and pulse from the pulse ox. Kate put it on his right hand and was getting readings in the upper 70s. I wasn’t too concerned as we often have trouble at work with getting good readings on newborns and his hands felt a bit cool. But after a few minutes and trying a few different areas it was still struggling to read above upper 70s and Kate asked Kelsi to get hers. She went out to the car and came back with it and soon he had one on his hands and one on his feet. They were both reading in the upper 70s-low 80s and there was also a slight difference in reading between extremities which could mean some cardiac concerns. Kate went to consult with Childrens Hospital if we needed to come to the ED or if we could stay at home and monitor and I was left to stare quietly at Tallis and try not to panic.

I’m not sure where John was at this time, maybe already transferring Kira’s car seat, but I was alone for a few minutes staring at him. I was anxious about what was happening but also a little confused why it was so concerning because he looked good.  Mom came in again, either just to visit or with a question about Kira and I told her what was going on. She had heard Kate on the phone and knew something was concerning. I heard little bits of Kate’s conversation and could tell they had advised her that we come in.

She came back and said they advised her that we come in by EMS but she felt it was often faster if we drove ourselves. John asked if we could keep the O2 monitors on while we drove and we decided that was the best option. I held Tallis and told John and mom to pack different things, move the car seat, start warming up the car, etc. I felt my stress level rising, mostly from fear, but it came out as annoyed when mom couldn’t figure out how to start the car (the key has a little button to press to flip out) and John couldn’t find the clothes we needed to pack. I finally snapped at John to hold Tallis and I started packing. I was trying to throw in things for myself as well like my squeeze bottle, ibuprofen, depends and extra pads, along with phone chargers, snacks, clothes, and things for Tallis. I wasn’t moving particularly fast as I was not ready to be up moving around. I could tell Kate was anxious to head to the hospital but I was trying to make sure we had everything we needed for a hospital stay.

I started getting light headed after packing and Kelsi told me to sit on the bed until everything was in the car and everyone was ready to go. Mom was packing stuff for Kira and trying to get out of there as one less thing to worry about. I only was able to sit for a few minutes and then Kate said we needed to go. She apologized that I wasn’t able to be resting after just giving birth and acknowledged it wasn’t what we wanted. We got a chucks pad for the car and I sat in the back next to Tallis so I could watch the pulse ox. The car ride was pretty uncomfortable at 3 hrs post birth but I was more concerned with texting a few people updates and asking them to pray and keeping an eye on the pulse ox. It fluctuated between 77%-upper 90s. Tallis slept in the car and continued to look pretty comfortable so that helped ease my worries. Nursing school often stressed to look at the patient more than the monitors and everything I was seeing from Tallis was good. 

When we arrived John parked in the 5 min. drop off zone and brought Tallis inside in the car seat. Kate was right behind us and ran in to get a wheelchair for me and then pushed me in. We were only a minute behind John but he had already gotten past security and was with the ED nurse. The front desk had printed two visitor passes for me and Kate and handed them off to us as we followed John. Kate asked the nurse if she wanted report but she said “No, we’re going straight to the resuscitation room.” As we entered that room I heard someone say “this is that baby!” and the room was full immediately.

They got him out of the car seat and put him in the middle of the stretcher making him look even smaller. They hooked him up to everything and turned on the warmer and Kate gave report. They asked a few questions which showed they hadn’t really been listening as she had to repeat details (Was it a water birth? Any significant history during pregnancy? Any significant family history?). One sweet nurse (who ended up staying with us for several hours before handing us off to the next nurse) came over and stood by me explaining what was going on and asking if I had any questions. After a few minutes one nurse turned to me and said “He looks great” and I was overwhelmingly grateful to her. One by one they all turned to us to reassure us he was doing great. His sats were sitting in the mid-90s and the nurse practitioner said “I don’t think we need to keep him. He’s doing great, you guys can go back home and rest.”

We were just waiting for the all clear from the neonatal pediatrician who had taken a call and was in the hallway (apparently not too concerned about Tallis). She came in and looked him over and watched the monitors for a few minutes. Then she turned to us and explained he looked good but she would like to monitor for 24 hours. He had a 5% split in the oxygen readings from hands to feet and this usually resolves within the first 24 hours of life but if not could be a sign of some cardiac abnormality. She wanted us to wait until after 24 hours just to make sure it resolved on its own, and if not, we could get an Echo and other testing done. I was disappointed but agreed knowing I wouldn’t be able to rest at home if we weren’t confident everything was okay. Kate also felt more comfortable with this plan than just going straight home.

They brought him over for me to give him a kiss and then put him in the NICU bed to go upstairs to the unit. Kate took our car keys and went to move both our cars to the ramp while we got settled in the room. On the way upstairs we were told “He’ll be the heathiest baby in the NICU.” We passed the “small babies” wing for the especially premies. Everything for Tallis went pretty smoothly from there on out. He was nursing well, pooping and peeing a lot, and passing all his tests. His split resolved within 3 hours and his sats stayed in the upper 90s the rest of the time. He did not need an echo or any further monitoring and he passed his hearing screening.

I was incredibly thankful we were able to have a private room and be all together. When I first heard we were going to the NICU I was thinking John and I would be in a separate area from Tallis and we’d have to go down a hallway to a shared room to see him. While it was wonderful to be together, we didn’t have a bathroom in our room which ended up being one of the hardest things for me just a few hours after giving birth. I had a bag full of supplies that I had to carry with me every time I went around the corner to the shared, but at least individual, bathroom. We also didn’t have a bed, just a pullout couch and a recliner. Again, as someone that had just given birth, this was less than ideal. I was pretty miserable while we were there. John found a pharmacy and was able to get me a few more supplies and the nurses brought me instant cold packs which helped with the after pains, but I was very uncomfortable. Of course, being in the hospital also meant no rest. I was so thankful everything was okay with Tallis but I couldn’t wait until we could go home.

That evening we visited the Ronald McDonald house and were blessed with a nice meal, not from a cafeteria. We skyped with Kira and she was enjoying bath time with Grandma, not missing us at all. We spent the night cuddled on the pullout couch, pretending to sleep. In the morning we got started on discharge paperwork and just waited for all the paperwork and final things to be in place so we could go home. We were able to be home around noon on Saturday. After getting back home I was much more comfortable, though still not able to rest much. We were incredibly thankful for all of the meals we were brought, helped by the fact we lived right next door to the church. Grandma and Grandpa brought Kira home the next day and we began our journey as a family of four. <3

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