Planning your Best Postpartum Babymoon

Below is an outline from our recent TCM event on this topic. Please feel free to talk with your midwife if you are wanting to dive deeper into any of these ideas!

What is a Babymoon?

A Babymoon is a revered period of time after the birth of a new baby during which parents and family can pause all other life activities to focus on this very special transitional time in life.  The goal of a Babymoon is to protect the sacred time of bonding with baby, to support the physical, mental and emotional aspects of birth/postpartum, and to help with nitrating a new human into your life!

  • Idea of First 40 days, 4th trimester, “it takes a village” vs. American expectations of bouncing back, “solo mentality”
  • Idea of “5 days in bed, 5 days on the bed, 5 days near the bed”
  • Babymoon period is broken up between immediate postpartum, week 1-2, month 1-2, and beyond. Can last up to 3 months or more.

 

Physiological Healing + Milk Making:

  • Ways to support physiological healing and nursing
    • Healing of tissue/muscle/bone
    • Reorganization of organs
    • Milk production, nursing relationship
  • Postpartum Rest Guidelines 
  • SLEEP! How to protect your sleep, rest, etc.
    • Sleeping Solutions Blog
    • Book called “Sweet Sleep” in the TCM library, and also available to “look inside” on amazon.
    • Thinking about taking turns alternating sleeping and caring for baby between you and your partner
    • Going into bed early and getting out of bed late
    • Sleep when baby sleeps
  • Supplies to have on hand or things to collect:
    • Bottom Healing
      • Herbal sitz baths (premade or make your own)
        • In bathtub or purchase sitz bath to sit on toilet
      • Postpartum Freezer Pads -“Padsicles” 
      • Peri bottle (can add sitz bath solution, calendula tincture, etc)
      • Depends
      • Cramp bark or After Ease Tincture for after pains
      • Immune support (Echinacea, Oregon Grape, Vitamin C, Vitamin D)
      • Magnesium or stool softener to help with BMs in first week
    • Milk Making/Nursing
      • Food
      • Nursing supplies: boppy, “breast friend,” other support pillows
      • Pump, one to two bottles (consider introducing a bottle around 4 weeks postpartum) 
      • Passive milk collection device, such as the Haakaa to collect extra leaking milk when nursing opposite side
      • Consider wardrobe, having a good robe or some comfy cardigans during cold months to help encourage easy access to breasts and skin to skin abilities in the first week
      • Stretchy nursing tanks, likely won’t want a cup sized nursing bra for a week or two due to breast size changes, don’t want to encourage infection if bra is too tight, but some support with a nursing tank top or night nursing bra can be helpful. (Once you are looking for bras at 2+ weeks postpartum, here are some places to look.)
      • Nursing pads to collect leaking milk
      • Hydrogel Pads by Madela or Gel Soothies by Lansinoh 
      • Mothers Milk tea/pregnancy tea- a great way to stay hydrated
      • Continue taking Prenatal Vitamins, as well as other supplements taken during pregnancy. Add Vitamin D (if not already taking) for breastfeeding (6,400ius daily is sufficient to pass onto nursing baby). 

 

Management of Household:

  • Plan for household support and life responsibilities, what can be prepared, what can be delegated?
    • Food + Nourishment:
      • For Birthing Parent:
        • Snack stations (nuts, bars, fruit, protein snacks)
        • Hydration
        • Private stash/Private fridge even in bedroom w/electrolytes, water, various filled water bottles
      • For rest of family:
        • Freezer meals (make ahead of time, freezer meal swap or meal making party, etc). Here are some ideas!
        • Stocking pantry
          • Consider “pantry shower” for subsequent families who don’t feel they need a traditional baby shower
          • Stocking up on household supplies
            • Laundry detergent, Trash bags
        • Meal Trains from family/friends
          • Consider a way for community to drop food without expecting to come in and hold the baby… some choose to put a cooler on the front porch, or have the understanding they should just bring food and not expect to visit
          • If holding a blessingway or baby shower ask for frozen meals or gift cards to grocery stores/restaurants
          • Foodtidings.com or MealTrain.com
    • Daily chores
      • Dishes, Laundry, Trash/recycling, Pick up of older children, Pet care
    • Other chores
      • Yard work, Shoveling, Paying bills, Grocery shopping (make a list of the basics)
    • How to build support system
      • Consider who you want in your circle
        • Who can you ask for help with chores and older children
        • Building your support network + creating boundaries
          • Put intent into who you welcome into your space
          • Limiting visitors
          • Asking for help
      • Delegating tasks to visitors/helping community
        • Ask family members specifically
        • Make plan with neighbors, etc
        • Write down a list of tasks/chores that visitors can do when they stop over (every family’s needs are different, think about what would be most helpful for your family)
    • Down the road
      • Make a plan for help when your partner returns to work
      • What extra support will you need when you return to work (consider a class on pumping)
      • Child care moving forward

 

Integration of Mind-Body-Spirit:

Ways to support integration of mind/body/spirit: Recognize period of transition into a new phase of life. Integration of new family system. Integrating new human into your life. The “new normal.”

Ways to support mind-body-spirit integration:

  • Write down your birth story, it can change as time goes by
  • Emotional support
    • Everyone deserves to see a therapist, can be supportive and preventative
      • Be watchful for perinatal mood disorders: depression, anxiety, OCD, etc
      • Could be helpful to see someone prenatally, or have an idea of who you might call in need
      • PPSM is a great place to find therapists
      • Consider attending a parent group to connect with other parents (moms groups, dad/partner groups).
      • Here are groups/therapists more specific to postpartum mental health
      • Herbs to support mood and rest:
        • Lemon balm or Motherwort for mood
        • Rescue Remedy homeopathic drops or candies
        • Calms forte homeopathic for calming/sleep
        • Skullcap, passionflower, California poppy for sleep
  • What does self-care look like to you (check out some of our fav kinds of self care here)?
    • Baths, reading, taking a walk, solo trip to target, alone time, outings gentle exercise, being social?
    • Meditation
      • Free apps like “Insight Timer”
    • Journal/baby book/baby journal
    • Body work
      • Massage
      • Chiro
      • Cranial-sacral
    • Sleep
    • Community
  • Relationship care
    • Discuss sexuality and intimacy with partner
    • Find time to connect, even for a few minutes here and there
      • Morning coffee
      • Hold hands, touch
      • Date nights (down the road)
    • Normalize sexuality changes/etc
      • Hormones of breastfeeding
      • Waiting to resume sexual play
      • Other forms of intimacy other than intercourse/penetration/orgasm
  • Family transition ideas
    • Gifts for older siblings/activities to do with them in bed while snuggling, resting, healing (water wows, magnetic toys, things that won’t get messy, etc)
    • Jobs for other kids to do to help and feel a part of things
    • Special time with other children without baby
    • Activities to help kids feel special
      • Crafts, games/movies/books
      • Play-dates with other families willing to do pick up/drop off

 

If you’re looking for a written template to make a plan, here is one example. Feel free to google for more ideas or make your own!

 

Photo by Meghan Pate Photography

2 Comments
  • Jill Greising-Murschel
    Posted at 15:48h, 19 February

    Such great tips Kate! I feel honored that you not only shared our family’s photo above but also that you were there to help us experience one of the best births I could have ever wished for. The babymoon and postpartum support that your team gave me and our family were priceless. I loved that we talked often prenatally with you about planning ahead for household help, prepared meals ahead of time, and lots of rest and snuggles with our little one.

    • Kate Saumweber Hogan
      Posted at 23:23h, 20 February

      Hi Jill,
      Thanks so much for your feedback. I so enjoyed working with your wonderful family. Wishing you the best on your adventures!
      Hugs,
      Kate